Caves and Caverns

I was looking through the upcoming DVD releases the other day, and there was a movie coming out called The Cavern. It's about a bunch of explorers who discover a deadly secret in an underground cave system and find themselves in a desperate fight for their lives.

Hey, wait a minute - wasn't there already a movie about that? Oh yeah, it was called The Cave. It was about a bunch of explorers who discover a deadly secret in an underground cave system and find themselves in a desperate fight for their lives.

Maybe it was just a coincidence that these two movies have similar stories. Maybe underground monster movies are really big right now. Maybe these movies are metaphors that you can't run and hide from the rigors and responsibilities of daily life. Who knows?

At least The Cavern could have come up with a different poster design that didn't remind me so much of The Cave. If you line them up, you can pretend the hapless explorers are descending down from one movie into another:

So what have we learned? Not much. All I know is that X-Men: The Last Stand opens in a week. Wahoo!

It's A Baby!

Our friend mochablue had a bouncing baby boy on Monday! Congratulations...you so rock!

Actual baby not pictured.

Mission: Impossible 3

I watched the original Mission: Impossible series on tv when I was a kid. My favorite part of the show was at the beginning, where the leader of the Impossible Mission Force would take his special binder labeled "IMF" and carefully select the photos of the agents he wanted for the show's mission. The funny thing was, except for the occasional guest star, he always picked the same agents for every mission.

I remember usually the shows involved trying to get some information out of a guy. They would come up with some elaborate scheme to make the guy believe he was on a tropical island or in a foreign country. Once the IMF extracted the information then needed, they would pick up and leave. Their poor victim would then find out he wasn't on a tropical island or in foreign country, rather the whole thing was a setup and he was on some backlot in L.A.

For this latest installment of Mission: Impossible, I was glad that the movie finally involved some IMF teamwork, rather than Tom Cruise working solo. Don't get me wrong, there's plenty of Tom Cruise solo action; he's running around this movie as fast as his short little legs will take him.

Run Forrest! Run!

For a while I thought that I wouldn't be able to truly enjoy this movie, because all I would see is crazy 'ol Tom Cruise with that big toothy grin of his. However, the good news is that this movie makes you forget he's insane in real life, and he doesn't flash his goofy grin until the end of the movie.

Mission: Impossible 3 is the first of the big summer blockbusters, and it certainly delivers on the big guns and blazing explosions, the prerequisites for any summer movie. I wouldn't say that this is the best in the franchise, although it will tide you over until the next big blockbuster comes out (X-Men: The Last Stand - 5/26! Wahoo!).

Luckily, there was a box nearby for Tom to stand on.

TV Shows I Miss

I probably watch too much TV. Unfortunately, that means I also spend way too much time thinking about TV. From time to time, I think about shows that I'd like to see on TV again. Since I know everyone would want to know, here's my current list:

Fear (2000) - This reality show was inspired by the Blair Witch Project, where MTV would send a group of teenagers into a supposedly haunted location wearing cameras on their heads. The group had to spend the night, and each person had to go to a certain area to do a task, which could possibly stir up the alleged ghosts in the area. It was kind of silly, but it was fun to watch the kids freak themselves out over nothing. There's a DVD out with a few episodes, but they should put out the entire season with all the episodes.

Actually, watching Ghost Hunters on the Sci-Fi Channel is a decent substitute for this show.

Bands on the Run (2001) - This was a VH1 show that followed four indie bands as they traveled around the U.S. competing against each other for a recording contract. It was a good show because all the different bands had interesting characters in them, and made for some good reality TV drama. What was cool was that the band that won, Flickerstick, won because they had the best music, despite the fact they never won any of the individual challenges on the show. I don't know if they could duplicate the success of this show with another group of bands, but at least they could show the reruns of the original show. It would certainly be a whole lot better than Celebrity Fit Club or The Flavor of Love. Plus, it would actually have something to do with music!

Bakersfield P.D. (1993) - As I recall, this Fox show didn't last a whole season, but I remember really liking it a lot. It was kind of a Northern Exposure "fish out of water" show where Giancarlo Esposito played a police detective joining the small police force of Bakersfield, California. Naturally, everyone else in the town is kind of odd & quirky in comparison to Esposito. The show was critically acclaimed, but unfortunately no one watched it, and it was cancelled before it found its audience. It doesn't seem likely that this show will ever see the light of day again, even as a DVD.

Behind the Music (1997 -Present) - I know they occasionally make new episodes of this show, but they have a ton of these shows that they never show anymore. It seems that whenever this show is on, it's either about the Notorious B.I.G. or Kid Rock. What's sad is that they have over 180 other episodes of this show that they never show. Sure, not all of them are winners, but in a lot of ways Behind the Music is an educational show about music history. Heck, without this show, I would have never known who Thin Lizzy was. What it kill VH1 to show just one different episode per day?

Kindred: The Embraced (1996) - In order to provide a fair and balanced view, I asked my fiance what show she missed, and this is the one she told me. I've never seen this show before, but it's about vampires. Neat!

Clone High (2002) - This was a short-lived cartoon on MTV, which only showed about six or seven episodes before it vanished. It's about a high school with all the clones of famous people throughout history deal with teen problems. How could this fail? The show had some hilarious moments. It's got one of my favorite cartoon lines: "If there's anything that Mahatma Ghandi stands for, it's revenge!"

...Believe me, it's funny if you've seen the cartoon. I just bought the series DVD on eBay, so I actually don't miss this one much anymore.

No! Not You! Anyone But You!

I'm going to put on my comic book geek hat on now. If you have one of your own, go ahead and put it on too.

One of the things that I like most about comic book covers is the cheesy dialogue. The little spoken word balloons that were used to describe the earth-shattering dangers or the life-chaning drama that was waiting for you inside the comic. Did the dialogue on the cover always deliver in the story? Sometimes. But it always helped sell the comic - the action on the cover told you that you would be making a big mistake if you missed this issue.

The sixties and the seventies were a great time for cover dialogue. Unfortunately, comic book characters stopped talking on comic book covers in the eighties. The trend continues today, where comic covers are mainly illustrations which usually have little to do with the stories contained inside. It's really a shame.

I really love the comic book style of speaking. If you could hear how I think, you'd probably hear me talk to myself in the typical superhero style: "I must do laundry now...or all is lost!" or "Someone will pay for these high gasoline prices...this I swear!"

Today's theme is "no, not you, it can't be you", courtesy of the Fantastic Four:

Your Odama-ma

Another word about the Gamecube video game Odama, which I'm currently playing now: this game is so friggin' hard. It's making my life a living hell right now.

As I mentioned earlier, Odama is a quirky new game that mixes pinball and battlefield strategy. The appeal of this game is that you get to mow down trees, buildings, and enemy soldiers with your giant Odama ball. Conceptually, it sounds like a lot of fun.

I suppose you could say that I just suck at video games, but to achieve the objectives of each level under the given time limit is really, really hard and frustrating. In a lot of video games, if you keep practicing at the game, eventually you may develop the skill to successfully get through the game. In Odama however, there's a randomness to the pinball side of it which means you simply need to get lucky to advance in the game.

The sun will set on you many, many times.

You also need to be good at multitasking. On one hand, you're batting your pinball around; on the other, you're trying to use the microphone to order you're troops around the battlefield. It can be fun when you do well, but when you're getting nowhere it really sucks. It's taken me a long time to get nowhere in this game. If you saw me play this game, you'd see me screaming "March left! March left!" into my microphone, then throwing down my controller in disgust as my troops march straight ahead.

I hate this game so much. I'm going to have to start looking for cheat codes soon.

Um...yeah. Good luck with that.

Red Eye

During my bout of illness over the past week, I had a case of conjunctivitis in both my eyes. More commonly known as pink eye, this affliction is very common, but it was the first time for me. My doctor told me I actually had red eye instead of pink eye, and it was the worst case he'd seen all year. Yay for me!

So I was looking for a DVD to watch, and my fiance suggests to me, "why don't you watch Red Eye"?

Red Eye? Brilliant!

If you haven't seen it, Red Eye came out last year and is about Rachel McAdams getting drawn into a plot to assassinate some Homeland Security muckity-muck. She plays a hotel desk clerk who gets pressured into switching the Homeland Security guy's hotel room to where the assassins can do their jobs more easily. Cillian Murphy is the bad guy who holds Rachel McAdams' father hostage and coerces her into helping them. This coercion takes place aboard a late night flight, hence the movie's title.


Overall, it was a decent thriller, but it wasn't particularly nail-biting. If you think too hard about parts of the story, the whole thing seems kind of ridiculous. I kept thinking about Cillian Murphy; he played the bad guy in Batman Begins, and he's a bad guy in this movie. He better not play another bad guy for a long time, or he's going to get typecast. Incidentally, he makes a pretty non-threatening villain. In the Batman movie, at least he had the scary mask going for him. In this movie, Rachel McAdams pretty much kicks his ass, stabbing him with a pen, a high heel, and beating him silly with a hockey stick. Pretty sad.

As far as airplane movies go, this one doesn't lead the pack. You know I'm just waiting for Snakes on a Plane! Yeah! Ssssssssssssssssss!

Our Man Bush

Sorry folks, I've been sick for a while. I'm still sick now, so don't get too close.

I'm sure I'm not the first one to notice this, but there was a news story the other day where Bush defends embattled Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld by saying, "I hear the voices, and I read the front page, and I know the speculation. But I'm the decider, and I decide what is best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense."

Decider? Oh, Dubya. There you go again, using those big words to make yourself sound smart.

President. Visionary. Decider.

Bad Ideas

In the spirit of opening presents before you're supposed to, I've been playing with my new digital camera that my fiance got me for my birthday (even though my birthday isn't until May). I'm going to be looking for things to photograph, so everyone better close your curtains and blinds.

Just kidding. Really.

I'm reminded of my days back in school when I was taking a photography class; for every one good idea you have for a project, you probably have a half-dozen stinkers that never made it off the ground.

One of my ideas was to take a series of black & white photos of varioius kinds of roadkill. It would have a lot of visual punch, plus it would make a statment about man's callous inhumanity to our furry friends. The only problem is that the roadkill you typically see in this area (possums, raccoons, etc.) are usually on the always-busy freeways. It's just wasn't very safe for me to stop my car on the freeway and try to get some good shots of dead animals.

See? Bad idea.

Another idea I had was to take a series of photos of different parts of a gutter of one of the major streets going through Oakland. It would start at the more affluent, well-kept neighborhoods and run all the way down to the more seedy, run-down parts on the other side of town. The project would show the contrast between the sparkling clean world of the rich versus the filth and piles of refuse of the not-so-rich.

I did a little research on the street first, and you know what I found in the gutters? Gutter water. That's it. I discovered that all gutters look the same. No story to be found here.

Yep, bad idea.

So once again I have a camera in my hand, so look out. Maybe I'll come up with some better subject matter this time. Warn your pets.

His Boring Ass Life

I'm a big Kevin Smith fan - I eat up anything related to Clerks, and it's really entertaining listening to the man himself speak. Lately I've been reading Kevin Smith's blog My Boring Ass Life, in which he is currently publishing a multi-part true story called "Me and My Shadow". It deals with Jason Mewes' (Jay of the Jay & Silent Bob duo) struggle with drug addiction over many years. It's really gripping stuff, and it rises way above the typical blog fodder of celebrities with botox and guys getting kicked in the nuts. Start here for the beginning of the story - so far he's published seven chapters of the story.

Also, the sequel to one of my favorite movies, Clerks 2, is coming out in August!

New English

There used to be a time when I thought I had a handle on the English language. If a word wasn't in the dictionary, then it technically shouldn't be used. At least that's the rule when you're playing Scrabble: if it's not in the book, then you can't put it on the board. There are slang words, but those are the kind of words you use when you're talking to your homies on the street, not in regular conversation with normal people.

However, our language is constantly evolving, and if people use a made-up word enough, it will eventually work its way into our collective subconscious and become a part of the English language. You know, words like Homer Simpson's "d'oh" or Will Smith's "jiggy". Here are some of my favorite made-up words:

guesstimate: guesstimate is the less accurate cousin to the word estimate. This is your slow, not-so-bright backwoods relative that you don't get to see too often, which is probably for the best. I always wondered why people ask for a guesstimate rather than an estimate. What you are really asking is for someone to pull a number out of their ass.

ginormous: gigantically enormous or enormously gigantic. If gigantic and enormous aren't enough to describe how big something is, then here's the word for you. Wait! I've got a new one: if something is more than yummy and better than delicious, then it's yulicious. You can use this for describing attractive people as well, like "baby, you're yulicious". I just made that up. You heard it here first.

craptacular: I actually like this word - it's fun to use. It simply means spectacularly crappy, as in "Hey man, that song you just sang was craptacular", or "Mmmm..., your pot roast is craptacular". It's fun because if someone is not paying attention, they may think you're paying them a compliment.

rig: A while back I registered with 1up.com to try to win an Xbox 360. On my personalized member page, they asked me to describe my "rig". Rig? What's a rig? Isn't that what they call trucks?I thought it meant your form of transportation. I didn't have a picture of my car, so I inserted a picture of my bike:


I later found out that "rig" means a computer. Duh.

It can also mean a syringe for shooting up. Neat!

Luckily, there are sites like Urban Dictionary to help hopelessly unhip people like me figure out what everyone else is talking about. Word!

V for Vendetta

We went to go see V for Vendetta the other day, and here's the verdict: it's a really good movie. One of the best we've seen this year (ok, we've only seen two so far, but cut us some slack, ok?). It's got an engaging story, interesting characters, and it's well-paced. It's also got two of my favorite things, butt-kicking and explosions.

I read the original DC comic in 1988 (the comic was actually published in the UK in 1984), and to be honest, and I don't remember all the details of the story. However, it seems as if the Wachowski Brothers didn't stray too far from the source material. Alan Moore (the original writer of the story) wanted nothing to do with the movie, but he's got nothing to be ashamed of. V for Vendetta is on my list as one of the greatest comic-book movies ever.

In a nutshell, the story deals with a man looking for retribution against an oppressive and tyrannical British government in the near future. In this day and age, it's kind of ironic to be glorifying terrorists, but the government in the story is so irredeemably evil, it's easy to root for the hero as he blows up historical buildings to make his point.

Also, Natalie Portman gets her head shaved. Thaat's how you commit to a role. I bet Nicole Kidman wouldn't do it.

So in summary: Great movie, big explosions, bald-head Natalie Portman.

To commemorate the excellence of this movie, I'm going to unveil for the first ever time our new rating system, courtesy of our four year old niece:

Oh, Odama

I think the blogging gods like me. Either that, I have uncanny timing. Maybe I can see into the future. Maybe not. In any event, a few posts back I asked for more quirky games from Japan to be sold in the U.S. even though they may have only marginal appeal (the most important criteria being that it appeals to me).

In early April, Odama is going to be released for the Nintendo Gamecube. As the Gamecube winds down to make way for the Revolution, new games for this console are few and far between, and this latest offering has quirky written all over it.

Odama, or "paddle warriors", can only be described as a Japanese medieval battlefield pinball game. The object of the game is to roll a giant ball over a large field, mowing down enemies samurai soldiers. Your forces are supposed to break through the enemy gates and carry a large bell through to be victorious. I'm telling you, this kind of stuff is right up my alley.


The game also comes with a microphone; so while you are batting the big ball around with your flippers, you can also give voice commands to your army. Ah, there's nothing that makes you feel more like a geek than talking out loud to the little people in your television. Charge!

Halo Comics

I've recently played through the first Halo again on a kick-ass computer my lovely fiance built. So it's timely that Marvel Comics and Bungie Studios have announced a Halo Graphic Novel slated for release in July of this year (see story here). Normally I don't get too excited about this sort of this thing since adaptations of video games, movies, and any sort of licensed material tend to suck.

Hopefully this graphic novel won't blowk, since they've got a pretty exceptional group of artists illustrating the book including Moebuis, Phil Hale, and Simon Bisley. It's pretty much a slam dunk, because anything by Moebius is worth the price of admission.

Snakes On A Plane! Aieeee!

Check this out: In a movie coming out this summer, Samuel Jackson plays an FBI agent escorting a witness on a flight from Hawaii to LA. The bad guys, trying to eliminate the witness, release hundreds of poisonous snake on the plane. That's right, Samuel Jackson versus a planeload of snakes. Yee haw! Cinema gold!

The name of the movie? Snakes On A Plane!

I'm so excited, I'm almost giddy. Never before has a movie title so succinctly captured what exactly a movie is about. Titanic could have been called Sinking Boat, but they obviously didn't have the guts to do it. The producers apparently wanted to rename the film "Pacific Air Flight 121" or something inane like that. But no, Samuel Jackson saves the day and insists that the movie be named "Snakes On A Plane".

You the man, Samuel Jackson! I salute you!

Aieee! Snakes on a plane!

Teddy Lobster

If you're into this sort of thing, you can have your very own stuffed white lobster! This clever person has designed a pattern for "Tasty" the Kiwa Hirsuta.


This stuffed lobster will make a great companion for any child's Barney doll or Tickle Me Elmo.

I can't wait until they have Steak & Endless Kiwa Hirsuta at the Sizzler. (Just kidding. I think.)

The Triple Dip

When movie studios release a movie on DVD, they typically release another version a little while later as a "Director's Cut" or "Anniversary Edition" or "Uncensored & Unrated Edition". This kind of double-dipping is a fact of life, much like death & taxes.

I actually don't mind the double-dip - as long as the subsequent version is chock full of extras, like behind-the scenes featurettes, deleted scenes, and audio commentaries. The more the better. Heck, add a second or third disc if you like; the more the merrier. What I like best is when they release a standard edition and a special edition at the same time (like the standard and collector's edition of Walk The Line). At least you have a choice, and you're not trapped into buying the same movie twice if you really liked the film. Sadly, this is the exception to the rule; more often than not, when you see a Saw, you know there's going to be a Saw Uncut Edition about twelve months later.

Today however, we have what will probably be the first of many: the triple dip.

The Replacement Killers was a good movie; I liked it a lot. It was the movie that introduced Chow Yun Fat to American audiences. It was the first directorial effort for Antoine Fuqua, who went on to direct Tears of the Sun and Training Day. Heck, it even had Academy-award winning actress Mira Sorvino. It was a fun movie with a lot of Hong Kong-style gun-blazing action.

The original Replacement Killers DVD came out in 1998, the same year the movie came out. It was kind of a bare bones DVD, with only a "making of" featurette. This was actually the first DVD I ever bought. Later in 2002, the Special Edition came out. This version had a lot more extras, including a director commentary, a Chow Yun Fat featurette, deleted scenes and an alternate ending. All these extras should have probably been on the original DVD. I haven't watched the Special Edition DVD yet, but I bought it because I wanted to see if Chow Yun Fat gets to make out with Mira Sorvino in the alternate ending.

Now eight years after the movie originally came out, the Extended Cut DVD is getting released in April. While this version apparently has the same featurettes as the Special Edition, it adds on a whooping 11 additional minutes to the movie. Plus, it's got a different cover.

Oh, great. I'm sure all the burning questions left unaswered in the movie will totally make sense now.

More Video Games, Please

Back in the day, I used to dig through the used CD bins at Amoeba Records to look for deals. The funny thing was that there were always tons of LaToya Jackson CD's available. I could understand why people would want to sell these CD's, but why were they buying them in the first place? Were they giving these things away?

There are thousands of CD's available, with hundreds more coming out every few months. A lot of this music is probably not your cup of tea, or is just plain crappy. Just take a look at the used CD bins. For every good band you find, you'll probably find ten LaToya Jacksons. Yet a lot of stuff gets released, because every CD hopes to find its market somewhere.

DVD's are the same way. Not every DVD is going to be a blockbuster or have critical acclaim. A lot of movies get made simply with the hope that they will sell in the direct-to-video market. Did you see Sylvester Stallone in a movie called Eye See You? No? Maybe you caught Wesley Snipes in The Marksman? No? Huh. Go figure.

Here's what I'm getting at: there are a lot of video games produced in Japan. Some are translated and sold in the U.S., but the majority of them do not come over. I know things are driven by market demand and cultural differences, but I think that the video game companies should take a few more chances and release some more varied Japanese games to the U.S. If we can have a flood of product in CD's and DVD's, how about a little more choice with video games? What have they got to lose? Someone is going to buy this stuff. Some people may even like them.

Here's one that will probably never be released in the U.S.: Marilyn Monroe Pachinko. People love Marilyn Monroe, and pachinko machines are the pinball/slot machines of Japan, how can this go wrong? If the price was right, I would buy it.

New Lobster

Wow. A team of American divers found a new species of crustacean, which resembles a white, furry lobster (story here).

This blows my mind. Science marches on...

Always Bet On Black...!

My fiance and I went to our local Fry's Electronics the other day, to browse for nothing in particular. When we got there, we discovered that they were having a sale on Black, the new game that just came out for Xbox and PS2. We hurried over to the video game department to pick up a copy of the game (ok, I was the one doing the hurrying).

When we got there, I picked up Black to look at it. There was this guy who saw I was looking at the game, and he says to us: "Did you see the review on the yadda-yadda-yadda show on G4?" (Yadda-yadda-yadda being some show I've never heard of on a cable channel that we don't get)

"No," I said.

"They said that game sacrificed a substantive storyline for action."

"Well, a little action can be good sometimes," I replied.

He looked at me incredulously, and repeated what he said again. At this point, he was beginning to get a little weird, so I smiled politely and proceeded to ignore him. He seemed to be offended that I was still holding the game, and he walked away muttering, "I was just trying to let you know".

Dude, I read the reviews too. Black is supposed to be a really cool first person shooter where every bullet you has an effect on what you shoot at. The sound effects in the game are supposed to be really special too. In other words, lots of things will get shot up and blown up, and you'll kick up a lot of dust doing it. Reportedly, the game doesn't have much of an engrossing storyline to go with the super-special graphics.

You know what? I don't care. I don't really follow the story in a video game too closely, I'm just trying to enjoy myself and get to the end of the game. If the game is fun and entertaining, then right on.

So what have we learned?

1. If a game looks interesting enough to me, then I'd rather try it out myself than blindly follow what someone else says.

2. For a brand new game, I got a good sale price. Excellent!

3. Dude, stay away from me; you're creeping me out.