New English

There used to be a time when I thought I had a handle on the English language. If a word wasn't in the dictionary, then it technically shouldn't be used. At least that's the rule when you're playing Scrabble: if it's not in the book, then you can't put it on the board. There are slang words, but those are the kind of words you use when you're talking to your homies on the street, not in regular conversation with normal people.

However, our language is constantly evolving, and if people use a made-up word enough, it will eventually work its way into our collective subconscious and become a part of the English language. You know, words like Homer Simpson's "d'oh" or Will Smith's "jiggy". Here are some of my favorite made-up words:

guesstimate: guesstimate is the less accurate cousin to the word estimate. This is your slow, not-so-bright backwoods relative that you don't get to see too often, which is probably for the best. I always wondered why people ask for a guesstimate rather than an estimate. What you are really asking is for someone to pull a number out of their ass.

ginormous: gigantically enormous or enormously gigantic. If gigantic and enormous aren't enough to describe how big something is, then here's the word for you. Wait! I've got a new one: if something is more than yummy and better than delicious, then it's yulicious. You can use this for describing attractive people as well, like "baby, you're yulicious". I just made that up. You heard it here first.

craptacular: I actually like this word - it's fun to use. It simply means spectacularly crappy, as in "Hey man, that song you just sang was craptacular", or "Mmmm..., your pot roast is craptacular". It's fun because if someone is not paying attention, they may think you're paying them a compliment.

rig: A while back I registered with 1up.com to try to win an Xbox 360. On my personalized member page, they asked me to describe my "rig". Rig? What's a rig? Isn't that what they call trucks?I thought it meant your form of transportation. I didn't have a picture of my car, so I inserted a picture of my bike:


I later found out that "rig" means a computer. Duh.

It can also mean a syringe for shooting up. Neat!

Luckily, there are sites like Urban Dictionary to help hopelessly unhip people like me figure out what everyone else is talking about. Word!