Embarrass Your Dog

You know those funnels that dogs have to wear so they can’t gnaw on themselves? I’ve always thought that they make dogs wear them just to make them feel silly. I bet that other dogs point at the funnel-wearing dogs and laugh at them. I certainly do.

Here’s a whole new way to get your dog ridiculed: get him a bodysuit made out of Lycra. I’m sure it has a lot of practical purposes, like keeping your dog warm and preventing dog hair from getting all over the place. But don’t you think your dog will feel a little embarrassed to wear this thing?


Hey, if you want your dog to be a dancer, or a speed skater, then this outfit is perfect. Better yet, have him join the circus:


If you really want to make your dog feel like a total tool, then finish off the ensemble with some headgear:


It’s not easy being a dog.

Rent

We saw Rent last week on opening day, which kind of tells you about our anticipation of seeing this movie. We usually wait a few weeks before we go see a movie in a theater, or else end up seeing it on DVD a year later.

We loved it…four stars…thumbs up! If you live in the Bay Area, our little man was clapping out of his chair.

However, we already loved Rent the musical before we ever saw the movie. I’ve seen it four times, and my fiancé has seen it five times (maybe even six, but who can keep track?). I’m personally not a big musical fan: the only other musical I’ve seen is Les Miserables (wait, I also saw The Music Man at Great America when I was little - but that doesn’t count). But the songs and spectacle of Rent is one of those rare things in life that never fails to be both uplifting and tear-jerking at the same time.

So the question is, would the movie version live up to the stage version? I say yes, although you can never beat the excitement of seeing it live. The movie did a good job of bringing a new dynamic look to the songs. Apart from a few numbers that were left out and a slight rearrangement of some of the songs, the movie stayed faithful to the stage version. It seems to me that the source material is so strong, you’d have to do something really stupid to mess it up. Like changing the setting to outer space and making all the characters robots.

I don’t think the movie will win very many new fans, but Rent the movie should make the current fans happy.

Friday, Bloody Friday

Our annual tradition is upon us: braving the crowds on Black Friday, the big shopping day after Thanksgiving where a lot of the major retailers offer great bargains on their merchandise.

We woke up this morning around 3 am, and got to our local Best Buy at 4 am. Not surprisingly, there were a couple hundred people already waiting in line (in the rain, I might add). The people at Best Buy were nice enough to provide coffee and Krispy Kreme donuts for the waiting customers, with a couple of store employees with bullhorns providing the entertainment. It helped make the time go by faster.

We also like to make fun of the people in line, so that helps too.

The doors opened promptly at 5 am, and people filed orderly into the store…then the hardcore shopping began. Most people know what they want, so they more or less know where they need to go. However, that doesn’t stop the people who just seem to get in the way with their shopping carts that are too wide to fit in the narrow aisles.

My fiancé and I had our gameplan all worked out, so we picked up what we needed, did a few fact-finding side missions, and made it to the checkout line in no time. That’s pretty much the drill on Black Friday: wait in line to get in, run around for a little bit, and then wait in another line to pay.

It was very civil, and there weren’t any scuffles. Not like at Wal-Mart, where there were several incidents reported. Savages.

People can be animals, but Wal-Mart should take the blame as well. Not just for being a soulless, blood-sucking corporation; they should have anticipated this. Wal-Mart blows.

Anyways, we also made trips to CompUSA, Circuit City, and Costco, but it seemed the real deals were at Best Buy. Best Buy gets a gold star for having the best sale, plus they did a great job with their crowd control. All in all, it was a pretty good Black Friday this year.

Now, we can go back to sleep.

Speak Softly and Carry A Big Sudoku

My Sudoku obsession has subsided a bit, but I still do at least a couple of puzzles a day. I’m beginning to see Sudoku board games, so the puzzle has pretty much worked itself into the pop culture landscape for now.

Astraware has created a Sudoku game for handhelds available in Palm OS, Pocket PC, and Windows Mobile Smartphone formats. More information is available here.

They also have a separate Soduku site here. It’s got a daily puzzle, plus it has a pretty interesting guide for puzzle-solving techniques. I have a sequence of steps in my head for solving the puzzles, but I would never try to list them, much less give them names like “X-Wing” and “Swordfish”. “Nishio” is the last-ditch method I use if I simply cannot fill any more of the blanks. If you don’t have your technique down yet, this guide may help.

Not surprisingly, the site also sells its very own Sudoku gear. They even have t-shirts where you can proclaim your skill level to the world. This is the one t-shirt that kind of stands out:


I suppose it was inevitable, but they’ve finally dragged Sudoku into the gutter. Damn you, Astraware!

Go Bears!

It doesn't matter how many wins or losses the Cal Bears have in a year. It doesn't matter which bowl the Bears are going to, or even if they go to a bowl at all.

It doesn't even matter if we got spanked by USC, UCLA, Oregon, and Oregon State.

None of this matters, because somehow all is right in the world when the Cal Bears beat Stanford in the Big Game! Berkeley keeps the axe for the fourth straight year in a row.

Cal 27, Stanford 3

Go Bears!

Walk The Line

I must say that this is one of the coolest movie posters I’ve seen this year. Maybe it’s in my top ten best movie posters of all time…, but I don’t have a top ten list, so let’s say it just rocks.

It’s nice when a movie advertisement can break away from the typical stylings of the modern poster – you know, like the “big head in the sky” showing the headshot of the star of the movie . The designer of this poster pretty much created a work of art – it goes way beyond a movie poster, it’s something that you could frame and hang on your wall without any connection to the movie. I’d be interested to know if the designer also makes concert posters. To me, the image simply states, "Johnny Cash, Badass". That should have been the tagline to the movie.

As my fiancé points out, the only unfortunate thing about this movie is that Reese Witherspoon is in this movie. I originally never had anything against her, but in his book Silent Bob Speaks, Kevin Smith talks about how “Greasy” Witherspoon pretends to be an upper-crust kind of person who is incredibly condescending. She insults him behind his back, and is incredibly rude to him in person. How can you not be nice to Kevin Smith? He’s just a typical guy like one of us - except he hangs out with movie stars and has boatloads of money.

Now I don’t worship Kevin Smith, but Clerks just happens to be one of my favorite movies. We went to hear him speak in San Diego last summer, and despite all the fart jokes, he’s amazingly entertaining to listen to. Just check out the Evening with Kevin Smith DVD – you’ll see what I mean.

In conclusion: I’m inclined to believe what Kevin Smith says, so “Greasy” Witherspoon sucks. But she’s in Walk The Line, which has one of the coolest posters ever; hopefully the movie itself will live up to it. So for now, we’ll just have to tolerate her...Greasy Reese.

Santa, Please Don't Get Me Karaoke Revolution Party

Video games are a form of escapist entertainment. In video games, we can drive recklessly or whoop a guy that is twice as big as us. Our worlds are contained in the TV screen, and the only reality we have is the joy of victory or the agony of defeat (in my case, defeat consists of the use of multiple cusswords and a controller thrown across the room).

Why then, do they make games like Karaoke Revolution Party? Is it just to torture me? I bought Karaoke Revolution a while back for my fiancé to play, because she can legitimately sing. When she plays the game, the crowd starts cheering and everything lights up. This game was meant for her.

I however, was not put on this planet to sing. I can do “Ring of Fire” in a deep Johnny Cash voice, but if you ask me to actually carry a tune in the correct key – sorry man, no can do. When I’ve attempted Karaoke Revolution, the lights go out, and everyone leaves.

I haven’t tried Karaoke Revolution Party yet (nor do I intend to), but apparently along with the singing, you can also include a dancing routine on the Dance Dance Revolution pad as part of the act. Singing and dancing? At the same time? Geez, the majority of today’s pop stars can’t do both at the same time, how they can expect this out of us mere mortals?

I’m guessing the whole point of this is to humiliate people in front of others. Since I am I am both vocally and rhythmically challenged, I will be definitely steering clear of this game. You won’t get me, Karaoke Revolution Party. Ha!

I must sound like a big stick in the mud. Well, the holiday season is rapidly approaching…

Bah humbug!

Hot Dog!

Every time we step into a plane, I always take out the in-flight shopping catalog and gaze wistfully at the Home Pride Ballpark Hot Dog Rotisserie Griller. Sure, you can always get the hot dog/bun combination toaster, but do you really think it will do a better job than the rotisserie griller? Hey, if it’s good enough for movie theaters across the country, then it’s good enough for us!

In our house, we’ve had differing opinions on how to cook a hot dog. I usually boil them for a few minutes into they are cooked. My fiancé likes to cook them on a skillet. Well, with our new rotisserie griller, a détente has been reached.

We just purchased it from our local Fry’s for forty bucks, and tried it out last night. I think we were both a little surprised that the contraption really worked. You can lay up to four hot dogs on the metal rollers, and it takes around ten minutes or so to fully heat up your dogs. You can also toast two buns on its upright metal spikes. Also, unless you cook really oily dogs, the whole thing can be easily cleaned by wiping down the rollers.

It would have been nice if we could toast four buns since you’re cooking four dogs already, but I guess hot dog cooking technology hasn’t quite reached that plateau yet.

The only question now is: how long will this device last? We knew all along that the rotisserie griller could be a piece of crap, and the jury still out on that.

But until then, hot dogs for dinner every night!

Look At Me! I'm A Record!

I told myself I wouldn't take anymore of these silly quizzes, but I couldn't pass this one up:


My Bloody Valentine - Loveless

What essential indie rock album are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I can live with this - My Bloody Valentine's Glider EP is a favorite of mine.

This will be the last quiz I take. For now. Maybe.

TO Blows It Again

What in the world is wrong with Terrell Owens?

The guy undeniably has talent: he’s big, strong, fast, and can catch a football. However, he also has the biggest ego and the most selfish attitude ever seen in professional sports.

Whatever happened to the guy who was a wide a receiver in the 49ers with Jerry Rice and J.J. Stokes? Back then, he didn’t make a peep; he just went out and did his job. With Jerry Rice’s departure, he apparently got to show his true nature and the size of his mouth.

Nobody can deny the guy works hard on and off the field. He was a great receiver on his way to making his mark in the history books. Unfortunately for T.O., he will be remembered, but not for his contributions to the game.

Sure, celebrating a touchdown on the Cowboy’s star was obviously uncalled for. The Sharpie touchdown celebration was actually kind of clever, but wrong. I actually think the pom-pom celebration was his best work (and completely harmless). But everything pretty much went south after this, as T.O. was constantly getting himself into trouble, or pissing someone off.

His latest hijinks was his criticism of the Eagles organization for not paying him the respect he thought he deserved for his 100th touchdown. He also publicly insulted Donovan McNabb, saying they would be better off with Brett Favre as their quarterback. To add insult to injury, he also got into a brawl with one of the Eagle’s ex-players who accused him of faking an injury. You have to admit, the guy knows how to dig a hole for himself.

Hasn’t he seen Spider-Man? “With great power comes great responsibility”. Terrell Owens could learn a thing or two from this. Not that he needs to put on tights and rescue people from burning buildings, but at least he could learn a little humility. The guy doesn’t need to toot his horn over every one of his accomplishments; everyone knew he was a great football player, and he had the fat contract & the cheers from the fans to prove it. A grown adult should know how to go about his business while showing a measure of restraint and respect towards others. It’s not that he shouldn’t speak his mind; but he doesn’t need to be such an ass about it.

So he’s done with the Eagles for the rest of the year. Eventually, some other team desperate for a wide receiver will take him. If there’s any justice, he’ll end up playing for the league minimum for a crappy team.

Eric Powell & The Goon

If you take a muscle-bound lug with a heart of gold (sort of), mix in some zombies & robots, throw in a little action and a lot of humor, and what do you get?

The Goon, of course!

I just finished reading most of The Goon comics to date, and it’s an entertaining ride. To date, there have been eight self-published issues and about sixteen issues from the current ongoing Dark Horse series. Most of the early issues are available in trade paperbacks.

The Goon is about a big bruiser-type guy who along with his pal Franky controls a portion of a Chicago-style town. What’s unique about this town is that normal people live side-by-side with monsters and aliens who also live in the town like normal Joes. The Goon’s world revolves around protecting his turf and the people who live in it, as well as breaking the legs of those who owe him protection money.

One of strengths of the comic lies in the ever-growing cast of characters, including Merle the lonely werewolf, the Muds who live in a tree stump, Dr. Alloy the evil-good-evil scientific genius, and Nameless One the Zombie King, the Goon’s arch-nemesis.

My personal favorite is the Psychic Seal; in this scene the Goon and Franky visit the seal for information on a friend in danger:

Sure, it’s a one-note joke, but I get a big laugh every time I think of it.

Eric Powell is a guy who didn’t really gain notoriety until he started publishing The Goon. Artistically, you can see a lot of Will Eisner, Jack Kirby, and Wally Wood influences in his work. You can also see his love for old science fiction and horror movies. He’s pretty much the guy who came out of nowhere with some really well-developed drawing and writing skills, and he keeps getting better. It’s nice to see how his skills have developed since the early issues. Currently, he’s using a hand-rendered shading style that you don’t see a lot of anymore. It’s a nice touch from a guy who cares about his work.

The Goon is a fun book to read, and it’s worth checking out before Eric Powell gets really, really famous.

My New Career In Crime

I took another quiz, and here's the result:



You are: TWO-FACE!

Which Batman Villain Are You?

Uh...ok. At least I'm not Catwoman. I think.

I gotta stop taking these quizzes.

This Week's Movie (Posters) No. 3

Ah, November. As the days get shorter and the temperatures get nippier, our thoughts turn to our poultry friends; namely the turkeys, and based on our first upcoming movie poster, chickens.

Chicken Little – I'm almost speachless - we’re looking right up a chicken’s butt. This is what our world has come to. I know this is a Disney movie, and I know it’s harmless, but we’re looking at a chicken’s piehole. Am I the only one that thinks this is a little weird?

I’ve seen this poster at bus stops, and I’m surprised no one has defaced any of them in a vulgar way. Maybe that’s the power of Disney; you just don’t mess with them, or Michael Eisner will come knocking on your door.

There was an earlier teaser poster that I like much more:


Ha ha! “Little chicken”… “Chicken Little”. Now that’s a good pun. Somewhere in his frozen cryogenic pod Walt Disney is smiling.


Jarhead – I like the simplicity of this poster. No need for a big sweeping illustration of the unrivaled might of the US Army; that’s not what the movie is about. They could have put Oscar-winning Jamie Foxx’s face on it, but they resisted that temptation too.

I like how they put the image of the burning oil fields only within the borders of the dog tag. Nice little analogy to what the movie’s about, the Gulf War seen through one soldier’s eyes. From the poster alone, it seems that Jarhead goes way beyond your standard military action movie.


Slim pickings this week for movies - you get to choose between a chicken or a jarhead...or you can see a homicidal maniac in Saw II.

Instant Greeting Card

Here’s a picture that will make everyone say “awww”. If you don’t, then your heart is shriveled up and is the size of a walnut.

With the power of this picture, here’s a suggestion for the guys: the next time you say something stupid to your loved one (and you know you will), take this picture and write “I’m sorry” on it. Give it to your better half, along with whatever apology methods you use, and voilà! You’re on the road to recovery.

Hey, if the look works for a puppy that just whizzed on the carpet, it may work for you too.