Santa, Please Don't Get Me Karaoke Revolution Party

Video games are a form of escapist entertainment. In video games, we can drive recklessly or whoop a guy that is twice as big as us. Our worlds are contained in the TV screen, and the only reality we have is the joy of victory or the agony of defeat (in my case, defeat consists of the use of multiple cusswords and a controller thrown across the room).

Why then, do they make games like Karaoke Revolution Party? Is it just to torture me? I bought Karaoke Revolution a while back for my fiancé to play, because she can legitimately sing. When she plays the game, the crowd starts cheering and everything lights up. This game was meant for her.

I however, was not put on this planet to sing. I can do “Ring of Fire” in a deep Johnny Cash voice, but if you ask me to actually carry a tune in the correct key – sorry man, no can do. When I’ve attempted Karaoke Revolution, the lights go out, and everyone leaves.

I haven’t tried Karaoke Revolution Party yet (nor do I intend to), but apparently along with the singing, you can also include a dancing routine on the Dance Dance Revolution pad as part of the act. Singing and dancing? At the same time? Geez, the majority of today’s pop stars can’t do both at the same time, how they can expect this out of us mere mortals?

I’m guessing the whole point of this is to humiliate people in front of others. Since I am I am both vocally and rhythmically challenged, I will be definitely steering clear of this game. You won’t get me, Karaoke Revolution Party. Ha!

I must sound like a big stick in the mud. Well, the holiday season is rapidly approaching…

Bah humbug!