Keep Your Mouth Shut

The neighborhood I grew up in was on a hill. When I was young, I used to walk up the hill, and then run downhill at full speed. Why did I do this? I really don’t know – I either wanted to feel the rush of speed, or it was because I had nothing better to do. Little kids do things like that.

One time I was doing one of my downhill runs; with the wind whooshing by me, my eyes watering, I thought I was breaking the sound barrier…!

…Until a bug flew into my mouth.

I stopped immediately. I could feel the bug on my tongue and in the back of my throat. I spit the critter out, and it looked a lot like this:

It’s a stink bug, folks. It’s also known as the shield bug. This kind of insect produces a secretion from its thorax, which not only emits a bad odor, it can also kill other bugs. However, the secretion doesn’t harm larger animals that try to eat them. Like me.

Having a live bug in your mouth is bad enough, but to have one that brings the stink is even worse. Needless to say, I had an incredibly bad taste in my mouth. Just imagine something really bitter, and put six legs on it.

It took a lot of Hawaiian Punch and to get that taste out of my mouth that day.