No Dead Can Dance For Us

It took me a week to get over the disappointment and embarrassment, but I think I’m OK now: we had tickets to see the Dead Can Dance concert at the Paramount Theater last week. I love this group. I bought these tickets six month earlier in March, as soon as they went on sale. The September show finally comes around, and what happens?

I forget about the date, and we miss the concert. I’m such an idiot.

Don’t ask me how it happened, it just happened. Call it a brain fart, since I’ve taken a bite from the big burrito of stupidity.

In any event, I am comforted by the fact that earlier I purchased a two-CD set of the highlights of their European reunion tour. It’s a snazzy little package put out by a company called The Show, who produces official live concert recordings. CD’s of some of the US dates are already for sale, although the Paramount shows are not included, for some reason.


It doesn’t beat going to a live concert, but it will have to do for now. Maybe Lisa Gerrard and Brendan Perry will enjoy touring so much, that they will come around again. One can only hope.

Incidentally, The Show also has CD’s from the current Pixies reunion tour. This is one concert we didn’t miss when they came to the Greek Theater last year. The Pixies rock, needless to say. They rocked before, and they still rock now.

Sudoku-Mania

Sudoku! It’s the new fad that’s sweeping the nation! Or maybe not…but I sure like it.

When we were in London last summer, I started doing the Sudoku puzzle in the daily newspaper. Since then, I’ve been hooked. I can’t go through the day without doing a puzzle or two. I used to be obsessed with Mahjong tile-matching game, but now I have a new addiction. Sudoku!

The game was first created in the US, but it really first took hold in Japan. Recently it became really popular in the UK, and now it seems to be spreading to the US, judging by the number of new online and computer games I’ve been seeing.

If you haven’t tried it, give it a shot. The online Sudoku puzzles I do the most are at Web Sudoku and USA Today. I like the USA Today puzzle because of the little clapping melody you get whenever you complete a row or block. When you complete the puzzle, you get a snazzy drumbeat.

Brian Ralph

Brian Ralph is a talented artist whose comic book work I like a lot. I haven’t seen any new books from him for a couple of years now, but maybe I’m looking in the wrong places. The comics that I do have are really great pieces of work that left me wanting more.

Cave-In is a wordless graphic novella about a cave dweller’s adventures in his weird little world. I don’t think it was intended to be purely for kids, but it’s suitable for all ages, as the narrative flow is very easy to follow. Best of all, the book is a cool little package. It measures 5 inches wide by 6 inches long, and the ink color changes as you progress through the story. The book came out in 1999, but it’s definitely worth a look if you can get your hands on it.

Climbing Out is Brian Ralph’s other graphic novel; this one involves the subterranean adventures of a monkey creature. The story has some dialogue, and it’s a little more involved than Cave-In, as there is an underlying sadness in the main character’s quest to escape his bleak world. This book came out in 2002 and is also worth seeking out.

Brian Ralph’s next book was supposed to be Crum Bums, a continuation of the story from Climbing Out. However, I don’t think that this book was ever released since Highwater Books, Brian Ralph’s publisher, went out of business last year. Hopefully someday it will see the light of day.

Keep Your Mouth Shut

The neighborhood I grew up in was on a hill. When I was young, I used to walk up the hill, and then run downhill at full speed. Why did I do this? I really don’t know – I either wanted to feel the rush of speed, or it was because I had nothing better to do. Little kids do things like that.

One time I was doing one of my downhill runs; with the wind whooshing by me, my eyes watering, I thought I was breaking the sound barrier…!

…Until a bug flew into my mouth.

I stopped immediately. I could feel the bug on my tongue and in the back of my throat. I spit the critter out, and it looked a lot like this:

It’s a stink bug, folks. It’s also known as the shield bug. This kind of insect produces a secretion from its thorax, which not only emits a bad odor, it can also kill other bugs. However, the secretion doesn’t harm larger animals that try to eat them. Like me.

Having a live bug in your mouth is bad enough, but to have one that brings the stink is even worse. Needless to say, I had an incredibly bad taste in my mouth. Just imagine something really bitter, and put six legs on it.

It took a lot of Hawaiian Punch and to get that taste out of my mouth that day.

Spider From Hell

We live in a somewhat forested area, so we have a lot of spiders outside our place. Those suckers build their webs everywhere. You sweep them away, and they come right back again. Inevitably, some of them get inside the house. Now, I actually like bugs and I don’t enjoy squashing them. But if you get into the kitchen, you gotta go.

Speaking of spiders, during my younger years I was once leaving my parent’s house to go to school. As I closed and locked the front door, I suddenly noticed that not more than six inches away from my face, there was a HUGE spider sitting on the door frame. It looked a lot like this:

Being the tough kid that I was, I didn’t scream like a girl. …OK, maybe I let out a little yelp. I managed to gather my courage and backed away from the eight-legged beast.

I know it could have easily eaten my face, but I managed to escape with my life. As I fled the scene, I could imagine the spider saying: “Yeah, run little girl. This is my house now.”

I never saw that spider again. If I saw that spider today, I’d show him who the boss is. Yep.

Its Cricket, Mate

When we were in London this past summer, we had the opportunity to watch some British TV. One of the first things that I saw was a televised cricket match between England and Bangladesh.

Not having ever seen the game before, I was totally perplexed. The game kind of resembles baseball, where one team throws a small ball at the batter, who tries to whack the ball with his big wooden paddle. That’s where the similarity ends. There are a lot of men in the outfield, but they don’t get to do much. All the players wear nicely pressed white polo shirts and slacks. There’s an audience in the stands, but they don’t do much. Most of the time, everybody remains really quiet.

The strangest thing about the game was that it seemed to never end. England was up to bat, and Bangladesh was pitching. The pitcher would hurl the ball at batter, the batter would hit the ball, and the outfielders would chase after it. England was somehow hundreds of points ahead, and Bangladesh couldn’t do anything about it. This is what happened the entire afternoon. Nothing else happened. That was it. They stopped the game eventually because the sun was going down. The next day, they started the game again, with England continuing to whack Bangladesh’s pitches all over the field. I guess there’s no “mercy” rule in cricket.

I know I’m just being the ugly American about this. I can only image how someone feels watching American football for the first time. I’ve been watching football my whole life, and I still don’t understand how the “tuck” rule works.


Cricket is so popular in England, they even have their own video games. Unfortunately, I don’t think that these games will be coming to your local Walmart anytime soon.

Our Friend Bibendum

I’m a big fan of cool packaging and advertising graphics, and I especially like characters created to personify a product. When you think of tires, who do you think of? The Michelin Man, of course!

When I was a kid, I used to think the Michelin Man was some kind of mummy that liked to hang around gas stations. However, if I saw him as how he originally appeared, I may have been frightened even more.

The Michelin Company, which originated in France, created the Michelin Man (originally named “Bibendum”) character in the 1890’s. Here’s the poster he first appeared in:

Good Lord, look at this guy. This is not the Michelin Man we know and love. He’s wearing glasses, smoking a cigar, and is about to drink a cup full of nails and broken glass to show how tough he is! Also, he doesn’t just have a mouth – he has a gaping maw to swallow children whole.
Here are a couple more of his early posters:

Watch out for Bibendum, he’ll nail you in the head with a tire if you’re not paying attention. Otherwise, he’ll be glad to give you a piece of his midsection if you need it – as long as get on your knees and beg.

Over the years, the Michelin Man has softened his appearance, put on a little weight, and stopped threatening children. He quit smoking cigars, got rid of the glasses, and put on some white gloves to cover his flesh-colored hands. Over 100 years later, he has evolved into the rubbery icon we all know and love, and we can all sleep better at night.

Movie Poster Swipe

One other thing about that Venom movie: take a look at the poster (on my previous post) and compare it to the one from 50 Cent’s new movie Get Rich or Die Tryin’:


Geez, someone was lacking inspiration that day. Maybe every single poster concept has been done. Maybe we've reached the edge of our flat earth. Yeah, right.

Minimum Zombie Requirements

So my fiancé says to me, “there are sure a lot of zombie movies coming out”. She was specifically referring to a new movie called Venom. I watched the trailer for this movie, and it looks like it has something to do with some meddling kids who try to bring one of their friends back to life, but ending up resurrecting a big bald-headed killer who cannot be stopped.

“That’s not a zombie movie” I said.

“Why not?” she says.

“Because there’s only one zombie in it.”

“How many zombies do you need for it to be a zombie movie?”

“Uhh…three?”

It was funny at that moment. You had to be there. But seriously, I’m no zombie expert, but I’ve seen my share of zombie movies. By my definition, an actual zombie movie must consist of a group of zombies chasing the normal humans around. They only want to eat human flesh or brains. That’s all they can do - they’re zombies.

They can be the classic slow, shuffling zombies, like in the original Night of the Living Dead, or the more modern faster track-star zombies like in 28 Days Later of the recent Dawn of the Dead remake. Usually there has to be a high zombie-to-human ratio, but in my opinion, it’s not a zombie party unless you have a minimum of three, OK?

Incidentally, I hear that they may make a sequel to 28 Days Later called 28 Weeks Later. Hopefully it won’t suck.

Nosmo King

Nosmo King…heh. I believe it’s the punchline to a joke about a woman who named her baby after a “no smoking” sign she misread in the hospital.

Anyways, for many years I smoked cigarettes. Like a chimney. I was never a pack-a-day sort of person, but given the opportunity, I could burn through a pack pretty fast. I don’t smoke any more, but sometimes I miss it.

The thing about cigarettes is that they are a great crutch to help you relax. The act of drawing on a cigarette and exhaling the smoke outwards is like one big sigh. You’re releasing whatever tension you have with the smoke you’re blowing out, and you get to do it over & over, or at least until your cigarette is burned down to the end. That’s the best part of smoking that I still miss to this day.

What I don’t miss (beyond the obvious health hazards) is the smell, the ashes & butts, and the yellowing of your skin and teeth. Also, I used to carry a Zippo lighter in my pocket, and sometimes the lighter fluid would leak out and give me a rash on my thigh.

One day I caught a bad case of the flu, and was unable to smoke for about a week. When I recovered, I somehow lost the desire to smoke, and never did it again. Plus, my fiancé never liked it, so that was an extra incentive.

If you need a book about cigarettes, I highly recommend Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: Branding and Design in Cigarette Packaging; it’s all about cigarette packaging through the years. Good stuff. Plus, it’s much better for your health to read a book.

...However, if you have to smoke, I highly recommend Botschafters. It’s an imported cigarette available in better smoke shops. But you didn’t hear it from me.

Thanks Jerry

Jerry Rice announced his retirement today, and football loses ones of its greatest players - definitely the greatest wide receiver of all time. After twenty seasons, age finally caught up with Jerry to the point where he couldn’t contribute to a team the way he wanted to. For a player who ended his career at age 42, I’d say he had a pretty good run.

I remember Jerry Rice as a young receiver on the 49ers, playing alongside Joe Montana and John Taylor. Even then he seemed destined for greatness, although he was never offered the big commercial endorsements that players of his caliber deserved (except for Rice-A-Roni).

As a lifelong Raider fan (and a part-time 49er fan), I was thrilled to see Jerry put on the silver and black after the 49ers phased him out. Along with Tim Brown (one of the greatest Raiders of all time), it was great to have two superstars form the core of the wide receivers. Although they fell short of winning the Super Bowl, Jerry Rice was an integral part of a Raiders team that gave us a couple of seasons to remember.

It was unfortunate that he had to spend time with Seattle and Denver, but it simply was a testament to his desire to play. Similar to when Michael Jordan finally retired, there will never be another wide receiver that will match Jerry Rice's skills and accomplishments.

Dessert Time

We were going up and down the aisles at Costco the other day (one of my favorite pastimes), and we found this: Islandway Sorbet – individually-wrapped sorbet in a carved-out fruit container. For $9.99, you get a ten-pack of four flavors: pineapple, coconut, orange, and lemon. Each lowfat flavor comes in its own hollowed-out fruit container, so it’s somewhat environment-friendly. We’ve tried most of the flavors, and they’re pretty good. They even give you a pack of spoons!

Wise-Super-Guy (or Super-Wise-Man)

It’s probably just the angle from where the picture was taken, but this photo of the new Superman, Brandon Routh, looks dead on like Ken Wahl from Wiseguy (one of my favorite TV shows from the late 80’s).

Vinnie Terranova is back!

Free Sketches

My fiancé and I go to the San Diego Comic-Con every year to see celebrities and to score as much free stuff as possible. I always bring a blank sketchbook in hopes of getting drawings from my favorite comic book artists. However, for the past several years, I’ve come back with zero new ones. Here’s why:

1. I hate standing in line to see artists; the more popular the artist, the longer the line.


2. I refuse to pay for a sketch, although I’ve seen some really nice commissioned sketches.


3. We’re trying to see as many celebrities and score as much free stuff as possible.

I do have some great sketches that I’ve obtained in past years which thrill me to no end. Here's one from Rick Geary:



I have a hang-up where I freeze up when I meet artists that I really respect and admire. I know they are just people, but I’ve always had trouble conveying my admiration for someone’s talent without sounding like an idiot.

I would have the same problem with bands or musicians that I’ve listened to for a long time. If I had the opportunity to meet Nick Cave or Peter Murphy, I’d be like a deer in headlights. How can I relate to them? “So… do you like football?”

Maybe if I became rich and famous and had fans, I’d better understand the dichotomy and get over my discomfort. OK, that’s what I’ll do. Fame and fortune, here I come!